Some managers call behavior “unprofessional” when they really mean “that’s not how I would do it.”
Some managers call behavior “unprofessional” when they really mean “that’s not how I would do it.”
An employee is quieter in meetings than the manager would be or doesn’t spend much time making small talk.
Maybe they’re less expressive, less polished, or less visibly enthusiastic than the manager expects.
None of those things automatically make someone unprofessional. The problem is that managers often carry an internal picture of what a “good employee” looks like, and it’s shaped by their own experiences, values, and preferences.
Then those preferences can become standards. This doesn’t mean organizations should abandon behavioral expectations. Some standards matter because employees still need to communicate appropriately, treat people with respect, and do the work their role requires.
However, managers need to distinguish between an actual performance standard and a personal preference.
Is the behavior interfering with the work? Is it creating a problem for customers, coworkers, or the team? Or does it only feel wrong because it’s different from how I would behave?
That’s an important distinction because the more a manager confuses familiarity with professionalism, the more likely they are to reward people who resemble them and correct people who don’t.
References: Whitaker CA, Keith D V. Symbolic-experiential family therapy. Handbook of family therapy. 1981;1:187-225.