Helping Employees Change Unproductive Behavior Patterns
Helping Employees Change Unproductive Behavior Patterns
A practical, step-by-step guide for managers who want to help employees change recurring unproductive behaviors through a structured, compassionate coaching process that keeps the employee in the driver’s seat.
This process works best when an employee comes to you for help with an issue they want to improve. For this example, I’ll use an employee who wants to speak up more in meetings.
The first step is to understand how they see the issue and why they think it happens. Perhaps they get nervous, or maybe they don’t think what they have to say has much value. The specific reason matters less than understanding how they see the problem. Don’t second-guess their thinking.
When you are trying to help someone, it is usually better to work within their reality. They will feel understood and be more likely to follow through on the intervention you develop together.
Once you understand the problem and their explanation for it, ask this: ‘Let’s say a fairy godmother came to you one night, waved their wand over you, and completely fixed your problem. How would people know without you telling them?
Usually, the person will respond with a vague answer such as, ‘Well, I’d talk more in meetings.’ You need to help them refine the goal: “How many times in a one-hour meeting would you need to talk for people to notice the difference?” At that point, you have a concrete target.
Next, ask whether they notice any physical sensations when they want to speak up but don’t. Usually, they will report a physical sensation in their chest or stomach that they associate with anxiety. Commend them for that bodily awareness, because those observation skills will help them reach their goal.
Then ask whether they are willing to take on small assignments between your 1-on-1s. If they say ‘yes,’ give them an assignment. If they say ‘no,’ suggest they choose a different issue they would be willing to work on between meetings. If they aren’t willing to do work outside your 1-on-1s, they are unlikely to reach their goal.
All interventions should be as small and easy as possible while still creating meaningful behavior change. Since this is your first time working on the issue, tell them you need a baseline.
Ask them to pick three meetings over the next week and mark down each time they feel that anxiety in their chest or stomach. Tell them they do not need to change anything else. They only need to mark each instance down.
Ask whether they think three meetings is a reasonable number. If you get the sense that three might be too much for them, decrease the number. You want to set them up for success, so it is far better for them to agree to one meeting and complete it than to agree to three and do only one. In the latter scenario, they are more likely to feel that they failed.
Sometimes they will want to do more than three, but keep the official goal at three. If they decide to do more, that is fine, but the target should remain easily manageable.
Always follow-up on the assignment at the beginning of your next 1-on-1. Sometimes you will not be able to start by asking about the assignment, because the employee may need to address a different issue first. If you do not give them space to say what they need to say, they are unlikely to engage in the discussion about the assignment, which is crucial to achieving the overall goal.
However much they completed, commend them for the accomplishment. If they completed only one after committing to three, take responsibility by saying, ‘Perhaps I pushed a little too hard on the number. In any case, let’s discuss your progress.’
Use the average number of missed opportunities as the baseline. This will be your measure of potential increases in success. Then ask if there were times they spoke up. If they say yes, then ask what the difference was between the times they spoke up and the times they didn’t.
This is crucial information because the difference between the two often contains the solution. It shows that they already have the capacity to speak up; they just need to learn how to apply that capacity in other situations.
A practical, step-by-step guide for managers who want to help employees change recurring unproductive behaviors through a structured, compassionate coaching process that keeps the employee in the driver’s seat.
This process works best when an employee comes to you for help with an issue they want to improve. For this example, I’ll use an employee who wants to speak up more in meetings.
The first step is to understand how they see the issue and why they think it happens. Perhaps they get nervous, or maybe they don’t think what they have to say has much value. The specific reason matters less than understanding how they see the problem. Don’t second-guess their thinking.
When you are trying to help someone, it is usually better to work within their reality. They will feel understood and be more likely to follow through on the intervention you develop together.
Once you understand the problem and their explanation for it, ask this: ‘Let’s say a fairy godmother came to you one night, waved their wand over you, and completely fixed your problem. How would people know without you telling them?
Usually, the person will respond with a vague answer such as, ‘Well, I’d talk more in meetings.’ You need to help them refine the goal: “How many times in a one-hour meeting would you need to talk for people to notice the difference?” At that point, you have a concrete target.
Next, ask whether they notice any physical sensations when they want to speak up but don’t. Usually, they will report a physical sensation in their chest or stomach that they associate with anxiety. Commend them for that bodily awareness, because those observation skills will help them reach their goal.
Then ask whether they are willing to take on small assignments between your 1-on-1s. If they say ‘yes,’ give them an assignment. If they say ‘no,’ suggest they choose a different issue they would be willing to work on between meetings. If they aren’t willing to do work outside your 1-on-1s, they are unlikely to reach their goal.
All interventions should be as small and easy as possible while still creating meaningful behavior change. Since this is your first time working on the issue, tell them you need a baseline.
Ask them to pick three meetings over the next week and mark down each time they feel that anxiety in their chest or stomach. Tell them they do not need to change anything else. They only need to mark each instance down.
Ask whether they think three meetings are a reasonable number. If you get the sense that three might be too much for them, decrease the number. You want to set them up for success, so it is far better for them to agree to one meeting and complete it than to agree to three and do only one. In the latter scenario, they are more likely to feel that they failed.
Sometimes they will want to do more than three, but keep the official goal at three. If they decide to do more, that is fine, but the target should remain easily manageable.
Always follow up on the assignment at the beginning of your next 1-on-1. Sometimes you will not be able to start by asking about the assignment, because the employee may need to address a different issue first. If you do not give them space to say what they need to say, they are unlikely to engage in the discussion about the assignment, which is crucial to achieving the overall goal.
However much they completed, commend them for the accomplishment. If they completed only one after committing to three, take responsibility by saying, ‘Perhaps I pushed a little too hard on the number. In any case, let’s discuss your progress.’
Use the average number of missed opportunities as the baseline. This will be your measure of potential increases in success. Then ask if there were times they spoke up. If they say yes, then ask what the difference was between the times they spoke up and the times they didn’t.
This is crucial information because the difference between the two often contains the solution. It shows they already have the capacity to speak up; they just need to learn how to apply it in other situations.
For the next assignment, have them document every time they wanted to speak up and succeeded, as well as every time they felt anxious and chose not to speak. Again, choose a number of meetings between one and three.
At the next meeting, ask for their success rate, then ask what improvement goal they want to set. Then reinforce the positive behaviors they used when they successfully spoke. Ask whether they are willing to use those same behaviors in anxious moments and aim for a 10% increase in speaking up across one to three meetings the following week.
Continue this process until they achieve their goal. In many cases, the person will improve faster than they initially agreed to. If they are struggling to improve, explore what is different when they succeed. Then see whether they can bring those behaviors into the moments when they do not speak up, and whether that creates the improvement they want.
In most cases, you will eventually find the right key to help them make the change they want.